May 26
A Long Time, On a Crooked Road: “The End” Recap and Analysis by Chris Kirkman
LOST Theories, Recaps/Reviews, Season 6
Previously, on Lost:
Goodbye to all my friends at home,
Goodbye to people I’ve trusted,
I’ve got to go out and make my way,
I might get rich you know I might get busted,
But my heart keeps calling me backwards,
As I get on the 707,
Riding high I got tears in my eyes,
You know you got to go through hell,
Before you get to heaven,
Big ol’ jet airliner,
Don’t carry me too far away,
Oh big ol’ jet airliner,
Cause it’s here that I’ve got to stay …
This week, on Lost: LA X. Christian Shephard has finally reached his destination – or at least a package with his name in big, bold stencils indicates as such. While his coffin is loaded on board a truck by a pony-tailed baggage handler, AlternaJack sits in his office, going over x-rays. Jack prime washes his face, and ponders his wet, aged hands. AlternaBen steeps some tea with his good arm, while Ben loads a cartridge and ponders how long he’ll have to continue killing people. AlternaLocke takes one last look at his wheelchair as he’s wheeled away on a gurney toward his healing surgery. AlternaSawyer wraps up his day in the police force, as Sawyer takes a seat next to Freckles on a log and checks her gunshot wound. AlternaKate sits in the AlternaCamaro as the Oceanic delivery truck pulls up to a church, and AlternaDesmond meets the pony-tailed delivery guy and signs for the package. The two lift the coffin onto a dolly and Desmond asks pony-tail to wheel it around back. As Desmond heads back to the Camaro, we know it’s time to start. Let’s get to it.
Read the rest of this entry »
Tags:
Chris Kirkman,
LOST Finale,
LOST Theories,
recaps&reviews,
Season 6
May 20
The Long Goodbye: “What They Died For” Recap and Analysis by Chris Kirkman
LOST Theories, Recaps/Reviews, Season 6
Previously, on Lost: Sawyer screwed the pooch on the sub, sabotaging Shephard’s straight-shooting speech and subsequently sending Sayid towards suicide. The sub shook and shimmied and Shephard saved Sawyer, while Sun and her suitor sucked seawater and said sayonara. Shephard and the sole survivors soon sobbed.
This week, on Lost: As many a time before over the past six seasons, we open on an eye. Jack’s, to be exact. We soon see that he’s not waking up in a jungle, or trapped inside a Dharma aquarium, or bearded and hopped up on goofballs. No, this is AlternaJack, and he’s got quite the life, now. It’s morning in LA X, and Dr. Shephard makes his way to the bathroom. Once there, he notices something very peculiar, indeed.
Dude, you really need to stop eating PB&J in bed.
Little Jack Jr. interrupts his pop and says he’s made breakfast. They sit down to a big ol’ hearty bowl of Super Bran and it becomes quite obvious how Jack got his neck wound – he probably blew out a vein in the bathroom after all that fiber. David asks his dad if he’s coming to the concert tonight, and Jack says absozooberutely.
Read the rest of this entry »
Tags:
Chris Kirkman,
Episode 6.16,
LOST Theories,
recaps&reviews,
Season 6
May 13
He’s Not Heavy, He’s my Smoke Monster: “Across the Sea” Recap and Analysis by Chris Kirkman
LOST Theories, Recaps/Reviews, Season 6
I’ll just leave this here:
Retcon - “Retroactive Continuity” v. to retroactively revise (a plot, storyline, character, event, history, etc.), usually by reinterpreting past events, or by theorizing how the present would be different if past events had not happened or had happened differently. See: Crisis on Infinite Earths; Wolverine’s bone claws; Greedo shoots first.
Once upon a time, there was an Island. It was a very special place. To this Island came a lady in red – shipwrecked and washed ashore, this lady was very, very pregnant. Although the lady in red survived her ordeal, she did not believe that her ship companions had, and so thought that she was alone. She wasn’t. Soon, thankful for finding a stream for fresh water, she bent to take a drink and was startled when she looked up and found that Allison Janney was on the Island, as well. She seemed shocked to also find that Allison Janney spoke Latin.
Read the rest of this entry »
Tags:
Chris Kirkman, Episode 6.15,
Jacob,
LOST Theories,
recaps&reviews,
Season 6,
Smoke Monster
May 06
The Day the Music Died: LOST 6.14 “The Candidate” Recap and Analysis by Chris Kirkman
Recaps/Reviews, Season 6
Previously, on Lost: I have no idea, because Christian Shephard didn’t say those magical words and fill me in. It’s okay, though, I’ve been paying attention. Mostly.
This week, on Lost: Everybody dies. Well, not everybody. I’m sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself. Oh, and did I give something away? Well, if you haven’t seen the episode yet, why are you reading? You can’t blame me for that.
Anyway, before we can get on with the death and dismemberment, we have to start with an eye – Locke’s to be exact. AlternaLocke, to be even more exact. We’re in LA X, and AlternaJack is there, waking Locke up and making sure he’s okay. Jack tells Locke that he got mangled by a rented sedan and that his dural sac was all shot to shit, but Jack rooted around in there and now Locke is all better. Jack says that while he was taking a peek under the hood, he saw the damage that had been done to Locke before and wants to know how it all happened. Locke asks why, and Jack explains that Locke is a candidate – a candidate for a new experimental surgery that could restore feeling to Locke’s lower extremities. Hell, Locke might even be able to walk again, all without the aid of the Island.
Read the rest of this entry »
Tags:
Chris Kirkman,
Episode 6.14,
Jack,
Jin,
John Locke,
recaps&reviews, Sayid,
Season 6,
Smoke Monster,
Sun
Apr 22
My Jabroni Has a First Name: “The Last Recruit” Recap and Analysis by Chris Kirkman
Recaps/Reviews, Season 6
Previously, on Lost: Seriously, if you don’t know what’s been going on up until this point, you might as well just go watch American Idol.
This week, on Lost: Not a whole lot happens. Okay, so that’s not entirely true; Kate got kidnapped again (for the 26th and 27th time), the crew continued to blow the hell out of Hawaii and Desmond is starting to get a little creepy. But in a delightful way. Oh, what the heck, I’ll fill you in on the rest.
Read the rest of this entry »
Tags:
Chris Kirkman,
Episode 6.13,
recaps&reviews,
Season 6
Apr 15
The Butterfly Effect: “Everybody Loves Hugo” Recap and Analysis by Chris Kirkman
LOST Theories, Recaps/Reviews, Season 6
Previously, on Lost: Chuck Widmore kidnapped Desmond, stuck him in a Velociraptor enclosure filled with coiled contraptions from the 2145 AD Radio Shack catalog and forced Des to do a little Doctor Who-like dimensional sidestep over into LA X where he learned, again, that it’s NOT PENNY’S BOAT and fell in love with Penny all over again. Oh, and Richard “Lashes” Alpert wants to blow some shit up.
This week, on Lost: Over in LA X, Pierre Chang put on a humanitarian slideshow for AlternaHurley, who, now beyond rich from his love of fried chicken, had just donated enough money to open a paleontology wing at the Golden State Natural History Museum. Hurley thought the trophy, a glass-shaped T Rex, was pretty cool. His mom agreed, saying everybody loves Hugo – everyone except women. Momma Reyes wants Hugo to date more, but Hurley doesn’t have the time. Uno momento por favor, says momma – she’s set him up on a blind date on the next night. Hurley doesn’t seem too sure of that idea.
Back on Island Prime, Hugo is up on Boone’s Hill, visiting Libby’s grave. A bird of paradise rests against the makeshift cross, Libby’s name scrawled down the vertical stake. Hurley tells Libby that a lot of people on the Island have talked to him since they’ve been, well, “gone” and it would be nice if Libby could maybe say hi once in awhile, too. Ilana interrupts, telling Hurley that they’re gonna trek through the jungle of mystery to the Black Rock and pick up some of that swell dynamite they got in there. Hurley doesn’t think this is a very good idea. Ilana asks about the grave, and Hurley recounts his brief relationship with Libby, saying that they were supposed to have their first picnic until she took an unexpected slug in the gut. We all wipe away a tear.
Read the rest of this entry »
Tags:
Chris Kirkman,
Episode 6.13,
LOST Theories,
recaps&reviews,
Season 6
Apr 08
Make Your Own Kind Of Music: “Happily Ever After” Recap & Analysis by Chris Kirkman
LOST Theories, Recaps/Reviews, Season 6
Previously, on Lost:
Nobody can tell ya,
There’s only one song worth singing,
They may try and sell ya,
‘Cause it hangs them up to see someone like you …
But you’ve gotta make your own kind of music,
Sing your own special song,
Make your own kind of music,
Even if nobody else sings along …
This week, on Lost: We open on an eye, of course. Desmond’s eye. He’s groggy. Zoe’s there, and she explains that he’s coming out of sedation, and that they had to move him from the hospital. Desmond wants to know where he’s been moved, and he also wants to see Penny. A familiar voice informs Des that won’t be possible, and the plucky Scot looks up to see ol’ Chuck Widmore. The look on Desmond’s face and the sigh of disgust say that he’s not glad to see his bastardly father-in-law.
Desmond is understandably perturbed, and Widmore urges everyone to leave so he can take care of things. Chuck reminds Des that he was shot by Ben. Desmond just wants to see Penny, and Chuck tells him that his wife and son are perfectly safe. Chuck apologizes for taking Des away so quickly, but he had to do it this way because there’s no way Des would come with him if he hadn’t. Come where? asks Des.
“I brought you back to the Island. I can’t imagine how you must be feeling, but if you’ll give me a chance to explain …”
Read the rest of this entry »
Tags:
Chris Kirkman,
Desmond,
Episode 6.11,
LOST Theories,
Mrs. Hawking,
recaps&reviews,
Season 6
Apr 01
Lost in Translation: “The Package” Recap and Analysis by Chris Kirkman
Recaps/Reviews, Season 6
Previously, on Lost: AlternaJin forgot to mention his briefcase full of money on the customs form and was detained at LA X, Richard got a message from his dead wife that the Man in Black must be stopped and Flocke sent Sawyer on a little recon mission to Hydra Island, where James brokered a double deal with ol’ Chuck Widmore.
This week, on Lost: At Camp Black Hat, somebody is spying on MIB’s team with night vision goggles. Sawyer offers Kate some fake cocoa, and crazy Claire sits around doing whatever it is that crazy Claire does. MIB sits down and offers Jin some advice on his hurt leg, and slides in a little bit about the caves that he showed Sawyer. MIB doesn’t know if the cave names mean Jin or Sun, but regardless he wants to leave with both of them, and he’s working on getting Sun back together with her hubby.
Read the rest of this entry »
Tags:
Chris Kirkman,
Episode 6.10,
Jin,
recaps&reviews,
Season 6,
Sun
Recent Comments